Finding outside again

The past couple of years have been a whirlwind for our family. We’ve experienced some major life changes including a move out west and welcoming a new baby into our home. Many blessings have come with these changes and we are all doing pretty well, but most days I find myself pondering how different it all is from only five years ago. I also find myself realizing what I took for granted then. We went from a dual-income family living in the country near our hometown close to our family to a more traditional style household in a small town away from our center. It all happened in a very short amount of time and, at times, it feels as though our rooted foundation has really been shaken.

We welcomed a new baby into our lives just a few short months ago and are trying to find our groove amidst the miles of distance from family and our support network. It’s been so beautiful and wonderful but we’ve also been missing a peace that accompanies being where you feel like you belong. The older girls have adjusted pretty well to the move and Scott has worked many long hours trying to establish a sense of security for all of us. Somehow, though, I find myself more insecure than I’ve ever been in my life. Perhaps it’s the changes or maybe it’s just something I need to experience to grow. One thing is for certain, I know we will be okay.

Being so far from everything we’ve ever known has been exciting in some ways but also overwhelming to our sense of solidarity. We’ve met many wonderful people and have been blessed with some incredible new friendships in just a short amount of time. But I miss my family, I miss our home and I miss that sense of just knowing where we are is where we belong. I know our plan isn’t always what God’s plan is and I’ve come to accept that we do not have control over our lives like we think we do. And it gives me much peace to just put it in his hands.

We have been blessed with visitors from home on occasion and each time it is such a blessing. It’s humbling, really, that they are willing to travel so many miles to come see us. This morning we had to say goodbye again. It’s hard, each time. I know the kids will cry and I probably will to, but we will get through it. It’s Fall after all and the holidays are approaching. Soon we will be with everyone again.

Scott asked me a few weeks ago if I wanted to go on a picnic. I hadn’t been outside in this way since long before the baby was born. It was exactly what I needed. It was what we all needed. Through everything we have managed to find a place we can go. A place we can escape. A place that no matter what changes in the world we know, we can still find solid ground. There’s something about being outside that shows us we belong and everything will be okay.

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